Love is not a quid pro quo arrangement
This morning's teaching was on a controversial passage (Colossians 3:18-4:1). In our journey through Colossians, this was actually scheduled for last week. Pastor Bill made a decision to skip to Chapter 4 last week and come back to this passage this week for Father's Day.
I appreciated how PB framed this passage around "the ethic of love", but it hit a sore spot for me.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
What does this passage reveal about the ethic of love? Not Hollywood love, but Christ-like love? It is submissive, sacrificial, encouraging, obedient, serving, sincere, just, and fair. It doesn't say, "If..., then..."
(Notice here that it also doesn't say silent. Speak up if your parent, child, boss, friend, lover is wrong or misled. And then submit, sacrifice, encourage, obey, serve, be sincere, be fair, and be just anyways.)
I've spent a lot of time these past several years questioning whether or not it's wrong to love when it's not quid pro quo. But Love is not a quid pro quo arrangement.
2 comments:
It may not be exactly QPQ but you should feel balanced in the relationship, don't you think?
my first inclination was to say, "yes, i think we should feel balanced in a partner relationship," thinking that love is different than relationship.
but on further thought, i think that is ideal from a human standpoint. from a biblical point of view, there is no mention in the Bible about QPQ even in relationship. Jonah was called to be in relationship was the Ninevahans, even though he was unwelcome. Hosea was called to be in relationship with his wife, even though he was rejected. Jesus - well, that one is obvious. God calls all of us to love - husbands, wives, slaves, masters, children.
not that it's easy or 'natural', which is precisely why God has to spell it out for us. it is a road we are called to as Christians.
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